Archive for September, 2011

I may be in the minority in finding cuttlefish both fascinating and adorable, but so be it. Pharyngula has the story of a unique cuttlefish breeding area in Australia that is threatened by a planned desalinization plant. The situation is the subject of an online documentary series called “Cuttlefish Country”:

There is also an internet petition. Yes, I know there are many reasonable doubts as to whether internet petitions do any good, but dangit, they feel right sometimes.

I also don’t know if there are alternative locations for a desalinization plant in that area. Wikipedia notes that the city sits in an arid area and has no natural fresh water source. Once again, large-scale industrial needs of humans conflict with really cool animal environments. The struggle continues.

UPDATE: See the comment below from Dan Monceaux, who answers some of the questions posed above.

I have been writing haiku for fun and to annoy my fellow man since I learned of the medium in middle school. A few weeks ago I wrote up a few legal haikus in response to a contest hosted by the Texas Bar Appellate Law Section. I am proud to say that my poetic and legal creative powers have now received their due recognition. I didn’t win anything tangible, but receiving an honorable mention from a group of people I mostly don’t know, in a state bar section to which I don’t belong, in an area of law I have never practiced, is all the victory I need. At least where legal haiku is concerned.

Check me out on page 2:

I mean, I really do not want to talk about 9/11. So far, I have managed to avoid it. I haven’t watched any TV in days, partly because of busy-ness, and partly to avoid the inevitable outpouring of visceral, voyeuristic retrospections on what does it all mean? and ten years later, what have we learned?

No thank you.

For starters, the only reason this particular anniversary gets any sort of special attention is because humans have five fingers on each hand, and as a result, we have a decimal numbering system. If we lived in the four-fingered world of “The Simpsons,” we would have commemorated the 10th anniversary of 9/11 two years ago, although in a base-eight numbering system it would be 11/13, and we would currently be in the year 3733 (yes, I found a base 8 conversion calculator online). The point is, the whole concept of a 10th anniversary is both numerically and biologically arbitrary.

In all seriousness, though, I wish we could just quietly commemorate the day for a moment and then go on about our business. I remember exactly where I was when I first saw what was happening, and I remember exactly what I did all day. I can sum it up for you quite succinctly: I watched TV and I tried to get drunk. That was it. I never felt any great sense of resolve. I felt pants-wetting fear. I am interested neither in commemorating nor reliving that time.

A Facebook status update is making its way around, that demonstrates the rather absurd lengths to which some people are taking their observance of this anniversary:

ON SEPTEMBER 11TH FROM 8:46 am -10:28 am … Everyone on Facebook should be silent, no postings or chats, from the time the first plane hit until the last building fell … Do this in memory of all who perished 10 years ago.

Needless to say, I am not going to do that. If other people want to observe a 102-minute moment of silence, go right ahead. I won’t even bother you. I intend to commemorate that time by not dwelling on it the way I dwelled on it in 2001.

I have ignored all of the “retrospective” news items on 9/11, even the ones I suspect I would find politically agreeable. I remember two pieces in the media from 2001 that have stuck in my memory, and they are the only two I care to remember:

• Leonard Pitts We’ll go forward from this moment,” Miami Herald, September 12, 2001:

You see, the steel in us is not always readily apparent. That aspect of our character is seldom understood by people who don’t know us well. On this day, the family’s bickering is put on hold.

As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish.

So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs to me that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your hatred. If that’s the case, consider the message received. And take this message in exchange: You don’t know my people. You don’t know what we’re capable of. You don’t know what you just started.

But you’re about to learn.

All I can think, reading this now, is of the opportunities we missed to follow, as the saying goes, the better angels of our nature.

• “Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell,” The Onion, September 26, 2001:

The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na’ar, Islam’s Hell.

“I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers,” said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. “But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?”

The rest of Atta’s words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

Dear sweet baby Jeebus, did we ever need to laugh that week.

I want to help the people who suffered and lost on that still-unimaginably terrible day. I do what little I can. What I do not want to do is relive that pain.

I also want to help the people who are suffering right now in my own city. As of yesterday, fires in Bastrop, Texas have destroyed 1,386 homes and taken two lives. I was in Bastrop this week. I doubt it is anything like Manhattan or DC was, but it is a place in dire need of help. I have seen an astounding capacity for strength, resilience, generosity, and selflessness out of the tragedy in Bastrop and other areas around Austin. This capacity was on display after 9/11, but that is generally not what we remember when we speak of commemorating that day.

9/11 was both a tragedy and a crime of epic proportions. Of that there is no doubt. But we have allowed it to define us for too long. On this most arbitrary of anniversaries, I sincerely hope that we can learn to remember without reliving, to help those who need our help now, and to honor what was lost by living our lives as best we can.

Related Blog Posts:

Media Blackout, Hope Doty, September 9, 2011

God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule, The Onion, September 26, 2001

Updated: I corrected a few dates and added a modifier.

I’m a big fan of PZ Myers’ “Friday Cephalopod” series. This guy is especially sweet:

I sort of wish this guy was really big and could actually fly, and then I could ditch my SUV and zip around Austin in style.

Of course, if he were big enough for a person to ride, he’d have a hard time maintaining his body shape out of water, what with no bones and all. Also, this.

This is a song by Australian band TISM. It has at least one instance of a NSFW lyric, but the awesome ought to make up for that.

Yes, I know this really has nothing to do with law. But lawyers need to have fun, and are often no strangers to sexual frustration.

I’m no stranger to saying dumb things without thinking. Mine usually come in the form of trying to make a joke too soon, as opposed to today’s story. Let me switch from snark to outrage.

An unbelievably tragic situation in California has bizarrely led to the threat of an ethics complaint against Sacramento lawyer Nabil Samaan. In short, after a bitter custody battle, it appears Mourad “Moni” Samaan and his 2-year-old daughter, Madeline, died in a murder-suicide from carbon monoxide poisoning. As of August 21, police are officially still investigating the cause of death, but murder-suicide is the prevailing theory. This occurred shortly after a court awarded the child’s mother, Marcia Fay, full custody of Madeline.

Marcos Breton at the Sacramento Bee said it best:

It doesn’t matter if husband and wife are bickering and fundamentally divided.

It doesn’t matter if the court system is a terrible arbiter for family disputes.

It doesn’t matter if one side is right and one side is wrong or both sides are right and both sides are wrong.

It doesn’t matter if you feel cheated and betrayed.

There is no justification for taking the life of a child – for taking any life.

One would hope that this is an axiomatic concept in this day and age. Perhaps Samaan was angry at the court system or his ex-wife. What would possibly lead to what he did? It’s a mystery to me, but apparently it’s not to to Samaan’s brother, Nabil Samaan, who had this to say:

I think he did the right thing. I’m proud of my brother and now he’s in a better place. He’s at peace. His daughter’s at peace. She’ll have one name now, and we can move on. And hopefully the court will learn a little thing about justice.

I take issue with words like “right” and “peace” in this instance, but the Center for Judicial Excellence has taken it a few steps further by stating they intend to file an ethics complaint against Nabil Samaan over his statement.

I have to say that, while such statements certainly “shock the conscience,” I’m not sure I see where disbarment would come in. He didn’t say anything that specifically affects an ongoing case in which he is counsel, and he could plausibly claim that his statement is protected by the First Amendment (it’s always the statements we deplore that test First Amendment protections.) It is also entirely possible that he spoke mostly out of grief or shock. I am not aware of any specific rule of attorney conduct that says a lawyer cannot be a complete and total jerk (hypothetically, of course). If there were such a rule, I suspect a great many lawyers would be in trouble.

That said, it’s not like there will not be any repercussions for the guy. I leave the final thought on the matter to ethics attorney Jerome Fiskin, who had this to say: “What kind of people search out an attorney who, um … yeah.”

Could not have said it better myself.

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NOTE: I seem to be writing about ethics a fair amount, so I decided to create a new category for ethics. Now I have to go back and edit all my earlier ethics-related posts. Ugh.

The following is from the Austin Bar Association:

Austin Bar Association Offers Help to Victims of Wildfires

As wildfires in Bastrop County continue to burn for the consecutive third day, authorities estimate 25,000 acres and over 500 homes have been lost. Many Central Texas families will need assistance to rebuild their lives in the aftermath of this catastrophic disaster.

The Austin Bar Association is offering several ways to help:

Volunteer – Contact David Courreges (512-615-2787) or Amy Welborn (512-825-3390) to volunteer
• Attorneys to answer basic legal questions in Bastrop this week, starting tomorrow, Wednesday, Sept. 7. Shifts are from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., and 5:00 to 9:00 p.m.
• Attorneys who are willing to answer questions by phone. We’ll need volunteers over the next two weeks who can be contacted as calls come in to the Austin Bar or State Bar of Texas.
• Red Cross trained volunteers to help in Bastrop with a variety of needs.
• Couriers/law firm runners with cars to deliver donations to Bastrop and other areas hit by fires.
• Receptionists who can answer phones at the Austin Bar and direct calls to attorneys.

Office Space
Please call Austin Bar Association at 512-472-0279 with available office space for displaced attorneys.

Extra pens, pasture, or animal stalls
Please call Austin Bar Association at 512-472-0279.

Monetary Donations can be contributed to Red Cross of Central Texas:
• Austin Bar Foundation to be donated to the Red Cross
• Red Cross Online
• By Check or In Person: American Red Cross of Central Texas, 2218 Pershing Drive, Austin, TX 78723.
• Give using your credit or debit card by phone to the Red Cross (512) 929-1250 or (512) 928-4271.

Medical Supplies, Toiletries, and Sleeping Materials are being collected by Catholic Relief Charities today:
• 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. at Catholic Charities of Central Texas, 1817 E. Sixth St., Austin, TX
• 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. at Diocese of Austin Pastoral Center, 6225 Highway 290 East, Austin, TX
• Next two weeks, 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. at the Austin Bar office, 816 Congress Ave., Suite 700, Austin, TX

Clothing Donations
• St. Vincent de Paul South Congress Store, (512) 442-5652, 1327 South Congress Ave, Austin, TX
• St. Vincent de Paul Yager Collection Center, (512) 238-6737, 18 West Yager Ln, Austin, TX
• Thrift Shop at the Episcopal Church of the Resurrection, 2008 Justin Lane, Austin, TX
• Zion Church, (512) 308-9344, 151 Shiloh Road, Bastrop TX
• Old Wind’s/Dollar General Store, 210 Main St, Smithville, TX
• 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. at the Austin Bar office, 816 Congress Ave., Suite 700, Austin, TX

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In New York City, a dog can help you testify in court but can’t help you drown your sorrows in a bar. Via Volokh Conspiracy comes the story of how the NYC health department is stepping up enforcement of a long-neglected ban on canines in the vicinity of food prep. Since booze is legally considered “food,” dogs aren’t even allowed in bars that serve booze but not food. They’re not even allowed on outside patios.

For once, I’m actually inclined to agree with the libertarianish arguments in the Volokh post, in that dogs are an easily-minimized risk in a business like a bar, and that people can certainly make an educated choice as to whether to go to a dog-friendly or dog-prohibited bar. It’s also quite a blow to the social opportunities offered by dogs. Not everyone is a dog person, but dog people tend to be social, and they might like a place to gather with their dogs besides a dog park. For a city that prides itself on its many social and cultural offerings, it seems unfortunate to make such a drastic prohibition.

I’m staying in Austin no matter what, but now I feel even better about it. We allow dogs on patios.

This is just oodles and oodles of awesome. An Alaska woman punched a black bear in the face when she found it trying to nom on her dachshund.

A 22-year-old Alaska woman said on Wednesday she punched a black bear in the face to save her small dog from being carried off and possibly eaten.

Juneau resident Brooke Collins said she hit the bear Sunday night to save the life of her dachshund, Fudge. She said she discovered the bear crouched down, clutching Fudge in its paws and biting the back of the dog’s neck.

“It had her kind of like when they eat salmon,” Collins said Wednesday. “I was freaking out. I was screaming at it. My dog was screaming. I ran up to it … I just punched it right in the snout and it let go.”

Collins said her boyfriend then scared the bear away. “I think it was more startled than anything,” she said.

If I had a bad-ass dog owner award, Collins would be my first recipient. Never underestimate the power of our love for our dogs. It can make us do some pretty crazy stuff.

I’m glad we don’t have many bears in Texas (but apparently we’re getting more). We have coyotes to worry about, but at least they’re smaller than bears.

I was assuming that punching a black bear in the nose is not the appropriate way, generally speaking, to respond to such an incident, but not according to MountainNature.com (“The Field Guide for the Next Millennium”):

If the attack escalates and a black bear (or any bear that appears to have been stalking you) physically contacts you, fight back with anything that is available to you. Black bears tend to be more timid than grizzlies and fighting back may scare the bear off.

So now you know.

Central Texas is suffering from severe wildfires due to drought and windy conditions. Mandatory evacuations are in effect in Bastrop County and in Travis County neighborhoods including Steiner Ranch, Pflugerville and Spicewood. At least 400 homes have been destroyed in Bastrop County, at least 20 in Steiner Ranch, and more west of Austin. There are two fires in Pflugerville, but I haven’t seen specific reports of homes lost.

The best resources online for updates and information seem to be the Austin American Statesman and YNN.

I know it’s Labor Day, but everyone please refrain from outdoor grilling.

The American Red Cross of Central Texas has updated information on donations, volunteering, and shelters for evacuated residents. Evacuees and their friends and families can check in on their website for information on evacuees (NOTE: as I write this at 9:00 a.m. on September 5, the “Safe and Well” Red Cross site seems to be down, but the information site is up and running).

The Austin Fire Department is working around the clock to fight all of these blazes.

UPDATE: Volunteers are needed in Bastrop County (h/t Kim Brushaber):

Distribution Center for Victims of Bastrop County Fires need volunteers today. Cell phone service is sketchy out there right now. They need clothing and toiletry items at the Dist. Center. Also, diapers, etc. Not crazy-overly worn stuff, etc.

Bring donations to 210 Main in Smithville. Also, they need volunteers: “also need Volunteers like CRAZY. Come in by. Now till whenever.”

Austin Pets Alive! pulled all of the dogs from the Bastrop County animal shelter last night, and they are waiving adoption fees today. They report that Austin Humane Society took all of the cats from the Bastrop Shelter. I’m still looking for adoption information for them.