Posts Tagged ‘Social Media’

Go die in a fucking fire.

I have added Disqus commenting to the blog. You may now troll me across multiple platforms.

The AgeAnalyzer will take a look at you blog and, using unknown and probably arbitrary parameters, guesstimate the age of the blogger. Try it, it’s fun!

Several people (indicating that more than one person reads my blog – yay!) have described my writing style as “curmudgeonly.” I doubt I am (or will ever be) up to a Scott Greenfield-level of curmudgeonliness, but I take it as a high compliment.

Imagine my (somewhat) surprise when AgeAnalyzer told me this:

I’m 37 years old as I sit writing this. Yet AgeAnalyzer identifies my writing with someone in an age bracket just below my parents. They think I have 12-28 years more relevant life experience and wisdom than I do.

How does that make me feel?

The American Bar Association has published its 5th Annual Blawg 100 list, naming its picks for the one hundred best blogs dealing with legal issues. (Law + blog = blawg. Get it? Ha!)

For the fifth straight year, I am not on the list.

This gives me reason to believe that the American Bar Association knows what it is doing and is an excellent judge of blog quality.

The always-intriguing and entertaining Popehat has put out his nominees for the “Censorious Asshat of the Year,” and the field is indeed proud. I am of course reblogging this for reas0ns, but I invite my reader(s) to take a look at the whole list and marvel at the human capacity for inanity.

To those who would use our hallowed legal system to try to quiet the voices of  those who would dare to hurt their fee-fees, intentionally or not, I simply have this to say:

Photo credit: The Thinker… by law_keven on Flickr.

I wrote the headline to this post on August 17, 2011, and I saved a draft that only consisted of four URL’s. Honestly, I have no idea exactly where I was going to go with this, but the headline was too, uh, weird not to post. Rather than try to piece together exactly what sort of thesis I was going after almost four months ago, I’ll just link to the articles that so inspired me.

• Law firm branding, social media, and strategy, Jordan Furlong, Law Firm Web Strategy Blog, August 2, 2011
• The Unbearable Smugness of an Experienced Lawyer, Carolyn Elefant, My Shingle, August 7, 2011
• ABA rules: No major ethics overhaul needed To address web marketing, Carolyn Elefant, My Shingle, August 12, 2011
• Ethics Rules May Be Stupid, But Rules Are Rules, Carolyn Elefant, My Shingle, August 12, 2011

Obviously it was something about older lawyers eschewing newfangled technology.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

First, I should apologize for that horrendous appropriation of a hip hop lyric.

Second, I apologize for what is about to become a “why I haven’t been blogging” blog post, one of the more obnoxious cop-outs of the written word.

I’ve previously noted that I have embarked on a new journey of discovery as a freelance writer, spending a good chunk of my time as a “ghost blogger” for a legal marketing company. After a long day’s blogging, my brain is pretty mushy. It’s also generally easier to post things to my Tumblr blog and pretend that I’m being original.

Today, I carved out some time to do a bit of personal blogging, because:

a) It’s partly how I got this professional legal blogging gig in the first place, and it’s really something I should keep up with;

2) It keeps me sane;

C) It feeds my narcissistic need to see my name in print;

iv) I can’t write about topics like animal rights porn anywhere else; and

qq) Did I mention it keeps me sane?

Now then, WordPress has this handy feature called “Press This” that lets me put a button on the dash of my browser (Firefox at the moment) to bookmark stories for later blogging inspiration. Today I decided to tackle a few of the drafts I’ve saved since I discovered that feature back in August.

I had 84 “drafts” saved. I do not want to write that many posts, particularly on things that seemed like a good idea when it was still 100+ degrees outside and Texas was still on fire. So I took it upon myself to thin the herd, removing drafts that have become obsolete, drafts that no longer sound that interesting, and drafts that are somehow incomprehensible to me, even though I’m the one that wrote them (it happens).

Even after a good, hard winnowing, I still have 72 drafts sitting there. And here I am writing about those 72 drafts instead of just writing the dang posts. I guess that means I have 73 drafts. Sweet Jeebus, blogging is awesomely meta.

Lots of fun at BlogathonATX. Just thought you should know.

I had a new batch of e-mails come in a moment ago, and among them was this gem:

HELLO MY DEAR.

my name is Juliet Bikai,I am a beautiful young girl searching for real love and protection. I became interested in you after viewing your contact,if it will be kind of you contact me,

Please you contact me With this email ***************** so as to explain myself for you and send you my pictures,
with love
Miss Juliet

Now, maybe I am behind the curve, but I do not often get spam solicitation quite as blatant as this. At a glance, it has all the hallmarks of a classic 419 scam, except that it lacks any mention of money. No appeals to the love of Jesus. No remarkably fortuitous request to help move millions of dollars overseas and collect a fee. It isn’t even the lawyer variant of the 419 scam, since it lacks anything about a claim for collecting thousands or millions of dollars owed “in my jurisdiction.”

Nope, none of that.

Just a “beautiful young girl” seeking “real love and protection.”

I hesitate to ponder what is meant by “protection.” Is the Nigerian mob somehow involved? Is there a Nigerian mob?

What is the endgame here? 419 scams tend to be a semi-long con, but here I can’t even see an angle. All I can think of is that this person hopes to work his (do you really think it’s a her?) way into my heart via online communications until I am eager to send money. Then heartbreak and identity theft are sure to follow. There must be better ways to scam money out of people (unless, of course, “Juliet” is a smooth operator who enjoys the thrill of the hunt more than the actual payoff. Which is even more sad when you think about it.) I ought to just let it go, but I would hate to think that “Juliet” is out there waiting in vain for a reply from me.

Therefore, I now address myself specifically to “Juliet:”

Dear Juliet,

 

You are a young and beautiful girl with your whole future ahead of you. I’m sure that you, think, after viewing my contact, that we have some sort of connection. The truth is, that I am just a guy like any other, with my own life and my own issues. While I’m flattered by your interest, the best thing for you is to live your life and be the best Juliet you can be. There is a man in your jurisdiction, waiting for you, waiting to give you all the real love and protection you could ever want. You have all the strength and resourcefulness you need to find him and make a life with him. If you could find me, you can find the right man for you.

 

But alas, Juliet, you and I were not meant to be.

 

I wish you all the best. Stay strong, and never lose faith in yourself. Never lose faith in the person that is best able to love you and protect you, the person who will never, ever leave you. That person’s name is Juliet.

 

Sincerely, David

 

I wish I could get more excited about the Austin City Limits Festival. I am very excited that it exists, that it draws huge talent, and that it draws my friends in from all over the country for one weekend. But dangit, I like shade and being able to sit down when I want to. So I am grateful for modern technology.

It is odd to think that, when the festival started in 2002, YouTube did not exist, streaming video was quite the luxury item, and most people had still never heard the word “blog.” Now the whole world can suck up bandwidth watching odd hipster bands play to a parched, dusty, remarkably smoke-free (I hope) park crammed full of sweaty people. Enjoy the show everybody!